Incubus
by Silenceheard
Summary: After the war is a mantra both Edward Elric and Roy Mustang live by. But will they make it to see that day?


**Title:** Incubus  
**Pairing:** RoyxEd  
**Words:** 6,400  
**Rating:** M  
**warnings:** sexual content, mild gore and character death.  
**Summary:** After the war is a mantra both Edward Elric and Roy Mustang live by. But will they make it to see that day?

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the characters, only the writing is mine.**

Fullmetal Alchemist © Hiromu Arakawa

**A/N: **Sorry this isn't part three of Ich will D: Remodeling kitchens and unfortunately moving (again) sometime in the near future have derailed my resolution to update every two weeks as planned. I apologize tremendously and hope everyone will be patient with me as I sort out life on my end. I am making every conscious effort I have to update Ich Will on** January 28th**.

* * *

Edward Elric lay on his cot, the cool morning air slowly receding from the vicinity of his tent as another blazing day would soon carry on. The same breath stifling, smothering heat that he had endured for the past eighteen weeks and counting. For the past four of those weeks and counting, he was well and truly stuck in the never ending inane mellow drama of a standstill. He was caught in the routine of a soldiers' circadian rhythm; with drills, marches, patrols, kitchen duty, which Ed was only allowed to do under the supervision of the head cook, and boredom. Grid locked with the enemy in stagnant warfare. Until someone finally snapped both sides were forced to wait out the other in an unpronounced armistice.

He sighed, he really had nothing better to do than just lay in bed all day. But the heat would drive him outside, seeking shade from some non-existent tree. He should have considered himself lucky in some aspects that they were to the south near Creta and not to the north in ass freezing Drachma. Here at least the automail only tried to deep- fry him if he didn't keep hydrated doing the military's dirty work.

He clenched his jaw, feeling his teeth grind on edge; he'd rather freeze the automail stiff researching more on the philosopher's stone. He hated it. The thought of going to war had scared him when he was younger. When he thought of war he remembered the men and women who had come through Risembool during the Eastern rebellion. Even if he hadn't known all that much that the war was going on, he had seen the injured, the displaced and the helpless. He'd seen war take Winry's parents away and not bring them back. That had terrified Ed. If he was sent to war and died what would happen to his brother and their journey.

Now leaving his brother and their journey on hold to fight some stupid war for the military just irritated him. Pissed him off so much he'd nearly broken the joints in his automail hand when he'd punched the wall in his and Al's dorm after he'd gotten his orders. Of all the fucking times to yank on his leash and ship him off to a war zone it had to be now. He was close, so goddamn close, to figuring out another method of creating the stone without the use of human sacrifice. He just needed to find a suitable source of energy to replace the number of human lives that Marco's method had called for. Then…

Footsteps outside his tent roused him from his thoughts. Ed sat up and began pulling his military issued boots on when the flap of the tent was pulled back casting an odd triangle of light over the ground. A dark shadow blocked out the blistering sun then disappeared as the tent flap fell back into place.

He heard the colonel's voice. "It's okay, it's just me; you can get away with a few more minutes of being out of uniform," The smirk was there, of course it was there pulling pale lips up in an inviting invitation, "Unless you'd like to be court marshaled." His eyes found the blonde's and Ed couldn't look away quick enough. The colonel's smirk widened, the bastard just loved to piss him off.

"Yeah, well it doesn't make any difference, I've got to put them on anyway," Ed scoffed tugging the other boot on over his flesh foot. He stood checking to make sure the boot over his automail was secure. Then he grabbed the blue jacket at the head of his bed, grimacing as he pulled it on, his back to Mustang. Facing the small mirror that was nailed to the back support post of his tent, Ed left the jacket open over his black tank and gathered his hair up behind his head, pulling a hair-tie from around his left wrist to pull the long blonde hair into a pony tail. That was another thing he hated. Now that he was officially enlisted as a soldier of war he had to wear the uniform.

But one good thing had come from the war and it was now draped around his shoulders, well more like hanging.

"I don't know why you hate it so much," the colonel said bringing his hand up to turn Ed's face gently towards his. Dark onyx eyes gazing into bright molten gold again, devouring the soul behind them.

"I… told… you bastard," he stammered then stopped, gazing back into impossibly dark eyes. So dark he could drown in them; was drowning in them.

Roy's thumb lightly caressed the young alchemist's cheek sliding over slightly parted lips, eyes never leaving Edwards, before pressing his own to them. The blonde gave a small sigh, his breath escaping into the colonel's mouth as he opened his own to allow the older man's tongue to lazily stroke over his.

One thing, one _good_ thing that had come from the war was this. Roy and a promise of them. Ed gave a happy hum sliding his tongue underneath Roy's feeling the groan rumble through the blue clad chest against his back.

God, how had they even thought that they could deny this?

The tension had been building for what felt like years to Ed; had actually been simmering just below the surface of his skin for two long years of standing in front of fucking smug-bastard-perfect-Mustang in the office, the want and desire growing every day. What he'd failed to realize was that the same want and desire had been growing inside of Roy as well.

Over the last couple of months leading up to the war they could barely be in the same room as one another without the air turning to choking want between them. Where every glance and movement had them staring at one another with predatory eyes, dark black from behind the desk and bright gold from in front of it. Until one day they'd stepped too close; all restraint smashed beneath the weight of what brewed between them. Roy had had him against the wall of the office and Ed had held onto the collar of his uniform, locked in each other's hold in a delicate equilibrium and then…one sharp, hot kiss.

Mustang's free hand wrapped itself around Ed's waist tugging him that little bit closer. His gloved hand skimming the waistband of the blue trousers that hung low on the blonde's hips. Snaking his hand up under the black material covering the young man's torso he felt Ed shiver against him. Roy moved his hand higher eliciting a gasp from Edward that broke the union of their mouths, Ed's left hand going to the one the raven haired man had beneath his shirt.

Roy watched as Ed held his gaze, breathing a little uneven, his tongue darted out to lick his lips and Ed's hand over his tightened, his fingers weaving in between Roy's as he pressed the gloved palm tighter against his skin slowly rubbing it up and down his stomach. Roy tipped the blonde head back a little father and kissed him again.

After that first calamitous kiss Roy had pulled away, his eyes the color of a summer's night sky, he'd looked at Ed like he was the only other individual he had ever seen in his entire life. Then he'd blinked stepped away like he'd been burned and proceeded to tell Ed that what they had just done was a mistake. A horrible faux pas that they could not have for a number of well thought out logical reasons: age, society, the military, he was his commanding officer, different goals, different priorities. What they had just done was an error on both their parts, a kiss that was to have never happened and never ever repeat again.

The words, no matter how much they wanted to had lined up on his tongue but he'd shook his head told Ed a sad, repentant sorry and dismissed him. Ed had stood there, stunned and bewildered why they had stopped and instead of showing his confusion he grew angry because the anger he could deal with. Rage was better than the throbbing ache that was clawing away at his heart that was still beating too fast.

Ed had wanted to fight back; to demand that Mustang just say that he didn't want him instead of hiding behind words like could not and sorry. But his throat had stopped working as if someone had poured sand in his mouth and sealed it shut with concrete, leaving only a tiny hole for air. He'd given Mustang the darkest glare he could and stalked from the room slamming the door behind him.

If the tension had been worse before now it was a living thing that reached out and choked them both even when they were alone. It made them both tense and miserable as they continued to dance around each other on broken glass. Restocking and loading the fire between them to an unbearable point of no return Roy was sure would have consumed them both leaving them at the other's mercy. But then the war came.

Ed let him play with his tongue, enjoying the sensation before he eagerly returned the kiss bringing his right hand behind his superiors head, forcing him into the innocent kiss that was quickly turning passionate.

Boarder wars had become common place with Creta over the past ten years, easily maintained and efficiently dealt with. The past six months had seen increasing scrimmages between the west of Amestris and its' neighboring country, pushing the tide of tempered hostilities to its breaking point and eventually beyond to the red tinged confrontation of campaign. The orders had come for Roy to take his command and report to West City Headquarters. Roy's distaste for war was overridden by the relief he felt that Ed's name appeared nowhere on any of his orders.

It was a blessing in disguise, it would allow him the distance from Ed, that he couldn't take himself, without looking like a coward, it would give them both time to forget about each other for the time being to put the balance of their relationship back into its natural perspective and like an added bonus a war campaign would give Roy the chance to better himself for promotion. Unbeknownst to him, Ed had received his own orders to head to the West as well.

Ed pushed Roy's hand closer to his skin, the burning touch melting into his flesh in an addictive haze like drug smoke. He pulled Roy down further sliding his tongue in and out of his lover's mouth, swallowing his every breath and sigh. Roy dragged his fingers down the blonde's navel, ghosting over the shadowing of blonde hair that descended into the blue trousers. His mouth left Ed's, trailing kisses down his jaw and neck where he nuzzled and nipped the tender flesh while the younger man tipped his head to the side, happy hums and purrs falling from his lips.

They were stuck together, no they were trapped with each other in tight, close quarters along with their fellow soldiers and both were brimming with desire for the other. Roy thought he had managed admirably to ignore his lustful feelings for the alluring blonde alchemist. He had pushed nearly every primal, lewd, provocative, and exotic imagining of said alchemist to the remotest place in the back of his mind.

Consumed himself with the task of commanding ranks and meetings with generals that he had no spare time to dwell on what Ed was doing or where he was though Roy kept a strong vigil on him when they shipped out to the warzone. Not so much because he didn't think that Ed could take care of himself, far from that actually, and Ed would never forgive him if he ever found out. But because Roy cared for him, felt too much for the boy, to let a war take the last of Edward's youth from him. Roy couldn't shelter him from all the horrific glory of war but he could buffer Ed from the worst of it.

The hand Ed had over his head loosened its hold while the one under his shirt was simply sweeping Roy's larger hand back and forth over his stomach. Golden eyes closed in pleasurable bliss; he was relaxed and pliant in Roy's arms. The colonel's hand slipped from beneath Ed's flesh hand and headed south until he was able to cup the awakening erection in Ed's pants. Ed's gasp turned into a moan as Roy stroked him and the automail tightened in Roy's black hair. "Roy," he moaned his mouth finding his lovers again as he bucked into Roy's hand.

The Flame alchemist knew that things would only escalate from there so he gave one last appreciative squeeze, withdrew his hand back to Ed's hip and pulled away breaking the kiss reluctantly. He smirked seeing the teenagers eyes lazily open, staring up at him, glazed expression, and lips slightly swollen. Automail fingers still threaded through raven locks of hair, Ed's inoperative brain could only comprehend that Roy no longer had his hands where he wanted them and was no longer kissing him. He turned his tawny eyes back to his superior's lips, gazing at the smooth skin that tilted and pulled at the corners of the man's mouth, wanting to claim them again with his own. His eyebrows lowered a bit, in a questioning way, wondering what the Colonel would do next.

Still smirking with the knowledge that he had produced the reaction from the blonde Mustang gently turned Edward's head back around to face the small mirror nailed to the post. Reflected was a fine boned young man, the last of the baby fat roundness of his jaw dwindling away, brilliant gold eyes set above a strong nose, lips bruised from the attentiveness they had received and long blonde hair the color of the sun, pulled back into a simple ponytail, bangs framing his face an annoying flick of hair like an antenna standing out. His expression slightly dazed as he blinked back at himself.

The fair skinned man protectively over his shoulder was staring at the reflection one of his infamous smirks on his equally bruised lips, his dark obsidian eyes gleamed almost blue with the faint patch of light that was working its way into the tent, his newly ruffled hair only added to the smug superior look that he pulled off artlessly. His gazed flickered from the mirror to the blonde's face, the smirk softening into a small smile.

Pulling Ed's right hand from his hair Roy held the automail out in front of the young alchemist where they could both examine the steel metal plates, while the colonel memorized the feel of the prosthetic palm and fingers he held in his own, examining the small scratches and scuffs along the plating, every blot and screw along the wrist and joints. Then he brought the hand to his lips, kissing the cool metallic knuckles.

"Hey I'm not a girl Mustang!" Ed growled pulling his hand from the raven haired man's grip but all together staying within the circle of his arms.

The smirk returned with full force to Roy's lips as he fixed the younger man with an intense hot look that made Ed's mouth go dry. "I never said you were Ed,"

He gracefully lifted off the blonde's shoulders regaining two inches of his height; the dark eyed man racked his eyes up and down the posterior of the lithe body before him, his gaze lingering appreciatively over the rear that was covered by the blue calvery skirt. Roy felt a silent pang of loss for the shiny black leather that normally covered the teen's ass.

"It makes you look older," he said straightening his jacket, running a hand through his hair and leaving the tent.

Silence.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean bastard?" the young alchemist yelled storming out of the tent after Mustang, all prior traces of affection gone.

"It's just what it sounds like Fullmetal," the older man smirked eyes closed.

When there was no reply, he opened his eyes and turned around almost expecting to see an automail fist hurtling towards his face from the fuming teen. However, what he saw made his blood run cold. His precious blonde stood where he was, just outside of his tent, lips soundlessly calling out to him, trying to form the words as life seeped out of him from the wound caused by the enemy. Blood trickled out of one nostril of Ed's nose, dripping down over paling lips that Roy had so heatedly sought that morning; that he had so recently touched with his own.

The sight of the young man made his heart jerk with a painful stutter as time seemed to stand still around him. A tidal wave of white noise drowned out the world or maybe it was just the sound of blood pumping in his ears. Ed's bright eyes were wide with shock, his face slack of any definable expression. His eyes finally found the dark twin pools of equally wide shocked irises, locking onto them as the shock began to turn into understanding within the older man.

Ed began to shake, his shoulders trembling with the effort of holding himself upright and not double over the gaping hole in his torso, coating the black cotton of the tank top making it glisten wet and sickly in the glare of the sun. Splatters of red turned brown on the edges of Amestrian blue. The blonde shakily pressed a hand to the wound his gaze looking down at the mess of his chest, bright ruby droplets splattering the dirt and sand at his feet. He shuddered feeling the world spin around him, Ed reached out towards the dark haired man, his name that had been falling from his lips finding purchase in his throat and tearing from him with a wet guttural choke.

"R-r-ro-oy,"

Hearing his name slapped Roy back into the reality of the situation, sent the adrenaline pumping through his veins and propelled him forward towards his wounded lover. Catching Ed as he stumbled forward into Roy's arms, slumping against his chest and falling to his knees as his legs gave out under him. The Flame Alchemist went down with him, cradling the smaller shivering man close to his upper body. A million different thoughts raced through the older man's mind, his gloved hand going to his lovers face and caressing his cheek before his eyes drifted to the wound, his hand tightening around the blonde's face; then his field training kicked in.

"Medic!" he hollered, setting Ed down on the ground and tearing his jacket off, hastily wadding it and placing it over the wound to stop the bleeding, "Medic! Someone get a medic!"

Ed grunted at the application of pressure, his gold eyes screwed shut with pain, his breathing laborious, coming in shallow pants. His face covered with sand and a sheen of perspiration making his blonde bangs cling to his face. Roy watched as what little color was left drained from the teen's face, leaving him deathly pale in comparison to the complexion of his usual tan skin.

"Fullmetal open your eyes, talk to me," he ordered, cursing the damn medic for taking so long. His arms straining from the amount of pressure he was applying to the major's chest. Roy whipped his head around searching for the doctor, expecting to see his troops assembling to combat the threat that had taken Ed down.

Yet no one was coming.

Roy turned back to Ed conscious of his faint voice mumbling out alchemical formulae. Bruised lids remained closed, shut tight against the pain. "Open your eyes Fullmetal!"

Blonde lashes fluttered but stayed closed. Roy removed one hand from the wound to touch the teens face, his gloves smearing blood, bright as red paint, across Ed's pained visage, "Come on open your eyes," he commanded gently shaking him. "Ed open your eyes!"

The young alchemist scrunched up his face, his litany of equations and formula continuing as he began to cough. Then he retched, dark crimson rising up his throat and welling out over his pale lips. Roy swore violently, rolling Ed on his side. The blood hit the ground with a stomach-turning splat; Ed heaving to clear his throat but unable to take a deep enough breath. Roy's uniform jacket had fallen away to reveal the carnage and Roy flinched seeing the blood still flowing freely from the gaping hole, over the singed remains of Ed's top.

He quickly searched the area, disturbed why no one was coming to aid Ed or as to why no action was being taken against the enemy. But no one was in a panic; soldiers milled about at a leisurely pace, going about their daily duties or enjoying their time off duty. No invading Cretians dotted the horizon and no one else with the vicinity was injured by enemy fire. They walked right past their commanding officer and the fallen soldier at his side. No one watched the blood pooling to the ground, they didn't care. They passed by with indifference to the fate of the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Roy yelled at them, feeling the fear spark into rage beneath his skin. How could they not do anything? Where was their pride; their sense of humanity? How could they walk past a wounded comrade and not see him?

A prickling of unease made the hairs on the back of Roy's neck stand on end when he realized how quiet it was. He turned back to Ed, whose eyes were open, staring dully at the purple and black stained sand but no words drifted past his parted lips.

"Ed!" he shouted shaking his shoulder but no response came from the young man.

"Stay with me," he whispered gathering Ed into his arms. He planned to take him to the medical tent himself when the blonde's body convulsed from the movement. Roy held him closer applying pressure to the chasm of skin. Urging his lover to speak to him, to not leave him, reminding him of his brother, to just please hang on and Roy would fix this. Ed's blonde head lolled back over his arm clouded gilt irises fixing him with their unblinking sight.

The fact that Edward was dead didn't hit until the red substance that had flown through the boy's veins dripped from his chin, his eyes dilating as they stared up at Roy yet staring through him, mouth open still helplessly trying to form the words that the older alchemist knew were there. Echoing in his own meaningless words that sounded so false to his ears while holding the simple components of flesh and bone tightly in his weakening arms.

"No, this can't be happening," he mumbled while still trying to stop the bleeding with his hand, warm crimson staining the white material of his gloves, "Fullmetal!"

"Hang on Fullmetal, Ed, Edward!" he yelled hearing in his ears the deafening sound of a final heartbeat.

Colonel Roy Mustang woke covered in a cold sweat barely holding back the tormented cry in his throat. Shaking, he ran both hands through his hair before resting his head in them, sitting up in the military issued cot and tarp like blanket. Trying to think rationally with images of that dream, no_ nightmare,_he corrected himself, plaguing his mind's eye.

He shuffled out of the construction of wood and leather to his feet, finding the canteen of water hanging on the post supporting the back of the tent he occupied; he doused his head of black hair. Fully awake and less shaken he shook his head flinging water onto the sides of the yellowed-tan canvas, willing the phantasmagorias to fly from his head as well.

Roy sat back down on the edge of his bed, breathing deeply, head in his hands. Trying to calm himself, Roy rationalized that nothing was wrong. It was just a dream albeit a rather stimulating fantasy turned horrific nightmare. Letting out a sigh, the colonel looked to his hands almost expecting them to be covered in imaginary blood. But they were clean, pale skin stretched over bone and ligaments in the weak moonlight. Looking down at himself, he found that the latter part of his dream had diminished his straining erection so it was no longer a problem. Which he was grateful for, it meant he could ease his troubled mind without having to deal with himself first.

Mind still on over drive from the unwanted boost of adrenaline the Flame alchemist dressed and headed outside his tent. Making his way to the southern end of the encampment Roy pulled his left glove on more securely not wanting to be unprepared like the last time. Memory from the ambush crowded to the forefront of his mind but he shoved them back, to a place where they wouldn't interfere. He was prepared this time and so were his troops.

He had tried: Roy had kept Fullmetal from seeing the extensive carnage of battles, the pointless deaths and disfigurement of soldiers. However, for all his efforts to keep Ed both physically and mentally safe, as well as the rest of his command, he had not been unable to prevent the movements of the Cretians nor had he been able to foresee the tactics they would employ.

A small group of soldiers had been sent to scout the enemies' position, Ed had been sent with them as their ranking officer. Roy had seen no harm in letting Ed undertake the assignment; Fullmetal was competent enough to know the meaning of stealth and discretion. It would also give the major some hands on experience with commanding soldiers and allow him to broaden his military horizons beyond that of a State Alchemist. About twenty miles from the perimeter of the base the Cretian rebels had launched an ambush of the scouting party. At the same time another strategized attack had been initiated on the Amestrian base camp.

Roy's line of sight fell on the rows of tents to his right, spotting the one where Ed was no doubt asleep in and unaware of the world outside his dreams. He continued on, pulling his watch from his pocket and checking the time. Almost a quarter to two, and Fullmetal's tent mate had guard duty in about a half hour. The Flame Alchemist closed the lid of his state certified silver pocket watch, coming along the perimeter of the encampment to the first guard post; he bid his time by checking in with the men currently stationed on the southern side of the camp.

In the aftermath of the attack however; pieces of information were garbled and distorted with no timeline to pinpoint them to. Insurgents had set off claymore bombs around the ammunition and storage tents. Cretian soldiers had taken the Amestrian blue uniforms and under the guise of fellow comrades had turned their guns on their unsuspecting victims. The confusion had led to fear and the fear had led to chaos among the ranks. The details came together after a humiliating and vulnerable retreat; both as a commanding officer and as a seasoned war veteran Roy should have seen such an attack as imminent. He's seen it used in Ishval to a lesser extent yet ignorance did not excuse him from such pretexts.

When news had come of the attack on the scouting party, Roy's heart had stopped beating. Lost and numb to every other reasoning and logic to stay with his troops except to go to Edward, Roy had gathered what soldiers could be spared from the task of setting up the new base point and had gone after Fullmetal. They were half way to the spot where the party should have been when they came across the remains of group. Three out of eight soldiers, Ed included, were making their way back to the original base camp. Ed and a lieutenant with a make shift sling were supporting another man with a broken foot. Roy had had to fight every urge and desire to jump from the moving vehicle to go to the beautiful blonde man and kiss him senseless.

Back at the new Amesterian base that was being erected all around them, the colonel had taken his subordinate aside for debriefing. Once in the safety of an unoccupied tent Roy had pulled Ed to him, wrapping his arms around the small body and holding him with every intention of never letting him go again. Silently giving thanks to whatever powers that be that Ed was alive. Realizing how close he had come to losing what he thought he had told himself he could never have had broken all of Roy's weak convictions and smashed his excuses to dust against the glaring truth that he cared for Edward. Felt so much for him that he didn't want to go through life without having tried to have Ed in his life.

They had talked. They had talked for nearly the rest of the afternoon and almost into the night. Roy had gleaned the details of the ambush on the scouting party from Ed. Among the dead was a red haired Corporal, Melissa Thompson; she had been only a few years older than Ed and she'd been one of the first ones hit in the attack. Roy hadn't tried to soothe the boy's outrage of her death; there was nothing he could say that would justify it. Instead he told Ed that he couldn't shoulder the blame of the loss of those killed. He could only be proud that he had brought those that he could back. Roy wasn't sure if Ed had heard him, more than likely he had already condemned himself to bear the fates of those killed under his watch for the rest of his life.

It was during their talk that they had come back to the looming situation of their feelings towards each other. They'd both tried dodging around it in the past but not anymore, when the war was over Roy promised Ed that they would have a chance at them. A chance to see where this, whatever it was turning into, could go and Ed had smiled. So beautiful and happy and then for the second time Roy was kissing the Edward Elric.

Walking along the boundary of the camp, passing from lookout to lookout, Colonel Mustang came to the guard post where Ed's tent mate was to report for duty any minute now. He checked in with the two soldiers currently stationed in the wood and sandbag bunker. All quiet, nothing to report. Roy stayed with them waiting until the sound of crunching gravel announced the arrival of Sargent McClaren: Fullmetal's tent mate.

After the changing of the guard Roy trekked his way back along the perimeter, taking his time and feeling a sense of pride to see his troops in such order after the disgrace of the Cretian attack. That was the thing about soldiers though, they were resilient. But in all honesty what else was there for a soldier to be? On the battlefield a soldier was resolute, strong and brave. Only brought down by death and slowed by injury. It was after the battle, after the fighting, after the war, that the soldier was sent home. Roy knew all too well that was when the real battle began.

Aches that wouldn't go away, a greasy weight in the pit of ones' stomach at the normality, images of deeds done in the name of duty. Brave faces and strained smiles were used as shields against the inflictions of the mind and body. Put on display for everyone to see the strong unbreakable soldier, not for the human being themselves, but for their loved ones. For them above all else because what was it to sacrifice a portion of ones humanity for their safety and happiness.

Looking up Roy found himself outside Ed's tent, his feet having carried him there as his thoughts danced around the reason why he was there. Glancing out of the corner of his eye the raven haired man checked the surrounding area, finding it deserted of any life at this hour of the night. Trepidation an anxiety closed around his heart as Roy pushed the flap of the tent aside and entered.

Ed lay on his cot; blanket kicked off in the night, one hand pulling his black top up and mouth hanging open. Roy let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, stepping towards the sleeping man he knelt down beside him. He watched him, memorizing the fall of dim light across his face and loose mane of gold hair before gently shaking his shoulder.

"Wwhasif?" he mumbled rolling to his side, bangs falling over his eyes.

"It's me," Roy whispered threading his fingers gently through the blonde locks that covered Ed's face.

"Roy?" the young alchemist questioned, blinked his eyes open, focused on him and grinned.

Roy couldn't describe the feeling that shot through his veins and settled low in his stomach at the combination of his name in Ed's low husked voice and slow sleepy grin. But it had to be akin to striking a match and setting it along kerosene covered paper because he no longer felt cold. He felt the humid air against his skin and the ground beneath his feet, he felt normal.

Ed blinked again, became more alert and sat up. "What's wrong?" he asked looking to the tent opening, bright molten eyes dancing like fire in the night "What's happened?"

"Shh no, nothing's wrong," the dark haired man soothed softly combing his fingers through Ed's hair. The teen closed his eyes in pleasure, leaning into the touch with a blissful sigh.

"Then what?" he questioned cracking an eye open to stare at the man before him.

Roy was silent, gently running his fingers amidst the cascade of yellow from the alchemist's crown. Staring off into the middle distance between Ed's automail and the tent wall, wondering why he was here in the first place. Ed was fine obviously, not injured; completely healthy and falling back asleep from his ministrations. So why had he woken him? Why had a grown man tromped out of his tent in the middle of the night to stow away into his youngest subordinates sleeping quarters? Roy's eyes drifted to the ground, his pride railing against the answer he knew was true.

He was scared; terrified of losing the young man before him.

A cool touch to the side of his head dragged him from his thoughts. "Hey," Ed said quietly, giving him a meaningful look before he leaned close to Roy, the curtain of his hair closing out the world and pressed his mouth softly to his lips. Ed pulled away promptly after the contact of flesh, sitting fully back on his cot, cheeks slightly pink.

Roy felt the smirk tug at his lips. He stood and sat on the cot next to the blonde, keeping his dark eyes on the Ed for a moment. Then he closed the distance between them and kissed his soon to be lover properly.

Ed's tongue met his, dancing around the cavern of their mouths and sliding along the other. Strong arms encircled the smaller frame next to him holding the teen close much like he had when he'd promised Ed someday. A moment later mismatched arms wound their way around Roy, the automail like a solid bar against his back. Roy kissed Ed harder, wanting the fire of his passion to consume him. To let it burn away all his fears, the world; for it to just be the two of them and no one else.

They broke apart with a messy wet sound, quietly panting for breath as they held each other tight. Ed buried his head in Roy's shoulder taking a few more deep breaths to get his breathing under control. Roy looked down at the man in his arms and kissed the crown of sun spun silk. They stayed like that for a while, until Ed's voice drifted up to Roy's ears, muffled by his military jacket.

"What's wrong Roy?"

Roy relaxed his hold on the teen, allowing him to look up and fix his commanding officer with sharp, intelligent, molten gold eyes.

"This war can't end quickly enough," he offered up, biting his bottom lip at how dismissive his words sounded to his own ears.

Ed gave him a look that said he didn't buy the excuse but he let it slide. Only bringing his left hand up to caress Roy's cheek, his fingers toying with ebony locks of hair before he looked him in the eye, a despondent yet knowing smile working its way onto his face. "Yeah, I know."

As if he could see the truth behind Roy's eyes, knew exactly what he was talking about without Roy having to say a word about his nightmare. Like it was something Ed knew all about too well. His fingers still gently playing with Roy's hair, "I'd tell you to just stay," he began "But I know we can't."

Roy opened his mouth to tell him that all thoughts of sex while anywhere near the war zone was dangerous and to remind him that they had talked about this before but Ed shook his head.

"No idiot, I'm not talking about that," Ed scowled.

The confusion must have shown on his face because Ed's expression softened back into that look of understanding.

"You're not the only one who has bad dreams," he said before pulling Roy down to meet his lips again for another stolen kiss.

Stolen kisses. That was all they had right now. Nothing like the provocative imaginings of Roy's subconscious; it was too dangerous for that here. After the war they could, it would still be dangerous, would always be dangerous as long as Ed was in the military. Any kind relationship between them would be difficult. But after the war: Roy would know what it felt like to wake up with Ed in his arms.


End file.
